I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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