he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i now understand why vodka
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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