when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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