how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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