I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
