Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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