its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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