He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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