mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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