can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
