That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
