I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
