He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize