So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
