it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
