another moral hangover. fuck.
Houston, we have a squirter
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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