I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
