A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
