That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
