new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
