i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
