I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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