you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
