garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Jerry, you need to find god
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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