i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
