Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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