what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
