Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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