you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
