Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
