That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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