I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
