birth control should be required to get into college
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
