I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Every concussion has its silver lining
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There's even glitter on my cock...
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