I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
