I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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