i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
