My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
