dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize