so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
