I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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