just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
