Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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