3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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