Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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