yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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