ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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