That's intense
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I got inside last night via doggy door
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
