Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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