Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Your cock deserves a montage
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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