Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
