ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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