I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
