He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
