Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
