Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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