Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
