i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
