god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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