He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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