I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
