I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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