Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
