:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
