hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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