Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
