U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize