More tranny stories later!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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