my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
