that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
