doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
