I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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