Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
