Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
