That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
