I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
