Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
